In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
