Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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