Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
