Duck Duck Cougar?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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