I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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