so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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