He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
