Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
