Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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