Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
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