life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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