tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
third nipple confirmed
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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