Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
