so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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