youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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