the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
