I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
