i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
