i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
