My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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