I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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