I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
