Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think my tv is drunk
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
