I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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