Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
