hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
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and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
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Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This toilet bowl is my home.
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