That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
