Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(079): View more from

I think we need to take a brake

(078): View more from

What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'

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(079): I think we need to take a brake (078): What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake' http://tfl.nu/ju32

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"

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(814): I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?" http://tfl.nu/fmqf

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?

(778): View more from British Columbia

Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.

(604): View more from British Columbia

Ohh that happened after I started to cry.

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(604): I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous? (778): Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely. (604): Ohh that happened after I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/giil

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.

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(504): You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil. http://tfl.nu/478n

Replies (28) Good night (588) Bad night (6065) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin

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(630): It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin http://tfl.nu/b3ck

Replies (18) Good night (4122) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.

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(412): One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging. http://tfl.nu/rajk

Replies (29) Good night (4087) Bad night (1090) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

there was naked duck duck goose

(703): View more from Virginia

how does that even get suggested?!

(815): View more from Illinois

after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal

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(815): there was naked duck duck goose (703): how does that even get suggested?! (815): after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal http://tfl.nu/ykdy

Replies (20) Good night (7555) Bad night (886)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell

(901): View more from Tennessee

thats the international knock for joint time

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(423): you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell (901): thats the international knock for joint time http://tfl.nu/xbry

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(973): View more from New Jersey

and then he started using my ass as a stressball

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(973): and then he started using my ass as a stressball http://tfl.nu/q5mx

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(678): View more from Georgia

we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.

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(678): we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/qa53

Replies (9) Good night (2543) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.

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(217): Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not. http://tfl.nu/3f1l

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(773): View more from Illinois

What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.

(773): View more from Illinois

We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?

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(773): What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat. (1-773): Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious. (773): We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru? http://tfl.nu/d3s4

Replies (7) Good night (1370) Bad night (340)
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(325): View more from Texas

I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.

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(325): I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol. http://tfl.nu/32t0

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(505): View more from New Mexico

There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.

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(505): There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy. http://tfl.nu/c3w4

Replies (6) Good night (1728) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...

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(204): Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"... http://tfl.nu/0fub

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