Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Someone shattered a urinal.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.