whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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