is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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