Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
