If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize