mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
