So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
