Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We don't watch enough power rangers
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
