doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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