I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize