ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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