i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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