I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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