i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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