So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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