My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
