WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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