Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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