when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
