Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
