Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The ass gains better be worth it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
