sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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