He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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