Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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