Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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