so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize