Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
