woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
