Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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