If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Someone signed my nipple.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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