It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
