Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
