I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Welp...herpes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
