Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
