are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
